Mum: Son, I've been reading the Steve Jobs biography and I have to keep putting it down, because I can't believe some of it. *picks up iPhone to check a text* He's terrible! An absolute wanker! I'm never spending a penny on anything Apple...EVER!!
Me: But...my Christmas card from you had an iTunes gift voucher in it..
Mum: *Stands in silence and a long pause ensues* That Steve Jobs is a monster.