A buddy of mine started swimming a few months back. He used to go before work. Every morning there would be a story of some ordeal he had to endure or something he had witnessed which involved men touching themselves in the showers...and not to wash themselves. I used to laugh and always finish my LOL-session with "But what do you expect!? It's Soho!" Soho is gay. I don't mean that in the flippant, derogatory sense. I mean it in the literal sense. Soho is homo. So if you go swimming in a Soho leisure centre, you kinda have to expect for there to be some hard willies in the changing rooms and for guys to not be shy about wanting to stick it somewhere before they get dressed.
In my bid to get fit, be less of a lazy fuck and do more with my time - I started frequenting a leisure centre within my work day. I managed to find one which is near enough that I could get in a 20 - 30 minute swimming session on my lunch break and far enough from Soho that the changing rooms wouldn't become a gay porno scene. 3 days of attending this leisure centre and nothing happened.
Deciding not to swim today, because I'm fucking terrible at it - I hit the gym instead, and opt for a quick workout. 20 minutes of cycling myself to death later, I clamber off of the bike like a zombie and head to the changing rooms. I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE! Score!! I do a geeky little fist pump, stripped down and strut down to the shower area with no towel (because I be's alone and dis my crib!) and I see I'm not alone after all. No big deal. So I preceded to shower.
But then it happened.
The guy in the shower was staring at me. He was old and miserable. I could sense him watching me, but I recall some program on Animal planet mentioning something about 'never looking it in the eyes', so I averted my gaze to the shower faucet. But in a moment of surprise as the water suddenly went cold and I yelped like a dog and jumped back, I then instinctively looked at him slightly embarrassed, to catch his reaction. I made the fatal mistake. I looked into his eyes. I caught the gaze of a gay. He looked me dead in my eyes with a look that said, "I'm ready to handle dis bi'ness!". I immediately turn away, but in the corner of my eye I can still see him watching me. But watching me isn't all he's doing. He's playing with himself. Wanking off. Whilst watching me shower. Feeling less flattered and more violated - the need to get clean was now at DEFCON 2. Internal super combo gauge now at level 5 max. I closed my eyes, winced and scrubbed down so fast and so hard that I took a layer of epidermis off. I ran over to my towel, whipped it around me and scurried back to my locker.
But it continues to happen for poor unsuspecting others...
My ordeal was over, but there would be more victims. A guy walks through in his trunks ready for a swim. As he stands in the mirror to put on his shower cap the Ole Willy edges towards the man eerily and snarls "You should shower before you go into the pool..." So, what does this man do? Obeys and goes into the shower. Ole Willy must have not gotten clean enough when he tried to ensnare me in the shower, because he headed right back in there when victim #2 headed in there.
The changing room begins to get a bit busier now with an influx of guys coming in from the swimming pool. Ole Willy was sat down at his locker with his towel around his waist, his socks on and his shirt on his back - but when the guys hit that shower, Ole Willy's socks, shirt and towel came straight off - and he hit that shower again...and again...and again.
And so it happened to me. I've not told my buddy yet. I need him to keep believing he has it worse than I do.
In my bid to get fit, be less of a lazy fuck and do more with my time - I started frequenting a leisure centre within my work day. I managed to find one which is near enough that I could get in a 20 - 30 minute swimming session on my lunch break and far enough from Soho that the changing rooms wouldn't become a gay porno scene. 3 days of attending this leisure centre and nothing happened.
Deciding not to swim today, because I'm fucking terrible at it - I hit the gym instead, and opt for a quick workout. 20 minutes of cycling myself to death later, I clamber off of the bike like a zombie and head to the changing rooms. I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE! Score!! I do a geeky little fist pump, stripped down and strut down to the shower area with no towel (because I be's alone and dis my crib!) and I see I'm not alone after all. No big deal. So I preceded to shower.
But then it happened.
The guy in the shower was staring at me. He was old and miserable. I could sense him watching me, but I recall some program on Animal planet mentioning something about 'never looking it in the eyes', so I averted my gaze to the shower faucet. But in a moment of surprise as the water suddenly went cold and I yelped like a dog and jumped back, I then instinctively looked at him slightly embarrassed, to catch his reaction. I made the fatal mistake. I looked into his eyes. I caught the gaze of a gay. He looked me dead in my eyes with a look that said, "I'm ready to handle dis bi'ness!". I immediately turn away, but in the corner of my eye I can still see him watching me. But watching me isn't all he's doing. He's playing with himself. Wanking off. Whilst watching me shower. Feeling less flattered and more violated - the need to get clean was now at DEFCON 2. Internal super combo gauge now at level 5 max. I closed my eyes, winced and scrubbed down so fast and so hard that I took a layer of epidermis off. I ran over to my towel, whipped it around me and scurried back to my locker.
But it continues to happen for poor unsuspecting others...
My ordeal was over, but there would be more victims. A guy walks through in his trunks ready for a swim. As he stands in the mirror to put on his shower cap the Ole Willy edges towards the man eerily and snarls "You should shower before you go into the pool..." So, what does this man do? Obeys and goes into the shower. Ole Willy must have not gotten clean enough when he tried to ensnare me in the shower, because he headed right back in there when victim #2 headed in there.
The changing room begins to get a bit busier now with an influx of guys coming in from the swimming pool. Ole Willy was sat down at his locker with his towel around his waist, his socks on and his shirt on his back - but when the guys hit that shower, Ole Willy's socks, shirt and towel came straight off - and he hit that shower again...and again...and again.
And so it happened to me. I've not told my buddy yet. I need him to keep believing he has it worse than I do.