We'd been in Akihabara for about an hour. Having mustered all of the racist maid girls (they don't talk to you if you don't look like a local), cheap electronics and men shouting from megaphones that we can take for the night. Back on the main road, our thoughts of what to do next were curbed by: it beginning to rain, one of our friends desperately needing to smoke a fag (smoke a fag - British verb. To smoke a cigarette. Not 'kill a gay') and 2 of us needing to drop a number ni in a toilet. So we decided to head to the Taito game station arcade down the street.
As we walked down the street one of the guys began to pick up his pace and was a considerable way ahead of the rest of us. As I turn to look behind me I realize I too have paced quite a way ahead of the rest of the guys, so I begin to slow down so that they don't lose sight of me and then point towards the doorway of the arcade that one of my friends (who I shall refer to by his Twitter user name Tenchi Muyo) has sauntered into. It's not a Taito game station, but it is a multi storey arcade which will surely have a smoking area, some toilets and provide shelter from the rain - so all we go in. No questions asked.
As we make our way up the escalators, pictures of AKB48 line the walls. I won't go into who exactly AKB48 are, but just know that they are:
6 flights of escalators lined with AKB48 later and we arrive at the 6th floor - where the arcade games are. Two of the guys run off to the toilets, as one of the guys follows the billows of smoke emanating from the smoking area. I sit down to play Typing of the dead (Awesomely strange game. Highly recommended) and the others take their seats at arcade machines of their fancy.
Meanwhile Tenchi is hovering around the escalator which leads up to another floor, which is oddly manned by a security guard. Tenchi shoots me a look as to say "I wonder what's up there!?" I shrug and mumble near inaudibly "Id'nno". So he proceeds to head on up. "AH! Suimasen!!" The security guard holds out his arm. Tenchi's head whips 'round and he shoots me a look, to which I then immediately look away to mask any affiliation with him in embarassment. He walks over to me, as I sit, cowering at Typing of the dead. "What happened!?", "Says we can't go up until 7pm", "Do you know what's up there?", "Nah..". At the time I belived him. But in retrospect I can tell you that he knew EXACTLY what was up there. He just chose not to tell me, because he knew that telling me would result in me saying any of the following...
He relays the info about entry to the upper floor not being allowed until 7pm to the rest of the guys, all of whom decide to go along with him and wait until 7pm. We're in an arcade with a load of cool games, grape Fanta vending machines and some ice cream. We can deal for a short while.
45 minutes later...
45 minutes, 500 yen's worth of vends and 600 yen's worth of arcade games later and it's 7 o' clock. We make our way over to the escalator which is heaving with guys. I ask myself "What the fuck is happening on this upper floor!?" We board the escalator as I look at the line of guys behind me and try to make sense of just what is going on and what the hell I'm letting myself in for. The escalator leads to a room with guys forming a queue around the perimeter, none of whom look like they can speak a word of English - so asking what this shit is, is out of the question. Plus, we'd look totally stupid for asking now. Which idiot would just come up here not knowing what they are up here for!? (Don't answer that). So we all just wait.
10 minutes later...
We are ushered into another room. There is a giant projector screen on the wall and 2 HD monitors mounted from the ceiling. Waves and waves of men begin to fill the room and take their spots of preference. After a momentary silence as everybody is now in the room, there is a rapturous applause which sounds from behind a set of double doors in the corner of the room. I look over, still confused. And then I slowly look up to the sign above the door...
THE AKB THEATRE
The screens switch on and there are a bunch of girls on the stage. We are about to watch AKB48 performance footage live from inside the AKB theatre. I start to feel sick, with traces of rage. I shoot Tenchi a look which says "I'mma kill you for dis". He looks at me with the sly grin of somebody whose has managed to pull the ultimate heist. I am at the AKB theatre and I am about to watch talentless bitches whom I can not stand perform a bunch of shitty songs my ears do not want to hear.
I will never to forgive him for this.
As we walked down the street one of the guys began to pick up his pace and was a considerable way ahead of the rest of us. As I turn to look behind me I realize I too have paced quite a way ahead of the rest of the guys, so I begin to slow down so that they don't lose sight of me and then point towards the doorway of the arcade that one of my friends (who I shall refer to by his Twitter user name Tenchi Muyo) has sauntered into. It's not a Taito game station, but it is a multi storey arcade which will surely have a smoking area, some toilets and provide shelter from the rain - so all we go in. No questions asked.
As we make our way up the escalators, pictures of AKB48 line the walls. I won't go into who exactly AKB48 are, but just know that they are:
- Talentless.
- Have an excess of members who they rotate, bring in and chuck out with regularity.
- Are ridiculously popular in Japan and originate from Akihabara. Hence the 'AKB'.
6 flights of escalators lined with AKB48 later and we arrive at the 6th floor - where the arcade games are. Two of the guys run off to the toilets, as one of the guys follows the billows of smoke emanating from the smoking area. I sit down to play Typing of the dead (Awesomely strange game. Highly recommended) and the others take their seats at arcade machines of their fancy.
Meanwhile Tenchi is hovering around the escalator which leads up to another floor, which is oddly manned by a security guard. Tenchi shoots me a look as to say "I wonder what's up there!?" I shrug and mumble near inaudibly "Id'nno". So he proceeds to head on up. "AH! Suimasen!!" The security guard holds out his arm. Tenchi's head whips 'round and he shoots me a look, to which I then immediately look away to mask any affiliation with him in embarassment. He walks over to me, as I sit, cowering at Typing of the dead. "What happened!?", "Says we can't go up until 7pm", "Do you know what's up there?", "Nah..". At the time I belived him. But in retrospect I can tell you that he knew EXACTLY what was up there. He just chose not to tell me, because he knew that telling me would result in me saying any of the following...
- No
- Piss off
- Fuck that shit
- You mad!?
- Fuck off
He relays the info about entry to the upper floor not being allowed until 7pm to the rest of the guys, all of whom decide to go along with him and wait until 7pm. We're in an arcade with a load of cool games, grape Fanta vending machines and some ice cream. We can deal for a short while.
45 minutes later...
45 minutes, 500 yen's worth of vends and 600 yen's worth of arcade games later and it's 7 o' clock. We make our way over to the escalator which is heaving with guys. I ask myself "What the fuck is happening on this upper floor!?" We board the escalator as I look at the line of guys behind me and try to make sense of just what is going on and what the hell I'm letting myself in for. The escalator leads to a room with guys forming a queue around the perimeter, none of whom look like they can speak a word of English - so asking what this shit is, is out of the question. Plus, we'd look totally stupid for asking now. Which idiot would just come up here not knowing what they are up here for!? (Don't answer that). So we all just wait.
10 minutes later...
We are ushered into another room. There is a giant projector screen on the wall and 2 HD monitors mounted from the ceiling. Waves and waves of men begin to fill the room and take their spots of preference. After a momentary silence as everybody is now in the room, there is a rapturous applause which sounds from behind a set of double doors in the corner of the room. I look over, still confused. And then I slowly look up to the sign above the door...
THE AKB THEATRE
The screens switch on and there are a bunch of girls on the stage. We are about to watch AKB48 performance footage live from inside the AKB theatre. I start to feel sick, with traces of rage. I shoot Tenchi a look which says "I'mma kill you for dis". He looks at me with the sly grin of somebody whose has managed to pull the ultimate heist. I am at the AKB theatre and I am about to watch talentless bitches whom I can not stand perform a bunch of shitty songs my ears do not want to hear.
I will never to forgive him for this.